How To Make Feedback Strength-Based and Personal
The Feedback Fallacy. How To Give Feedback.
In The Feedback Fallacy, the scientific case against radical transparency and harsh feedback was made last April in Harvard Business Review (2019). These authors re-examined the purpose of feedback and if you want to improve learning and performance, there are three assumptions we rely on that are incorrect:
We believe we need to give feedback because others cannot see themselves properly – something referred to often in Johari’s Window. This is false because we know that feedback ratings are notoriously unreliable, mostly because they are colored by our own values and perceptions. Humans are unreliable raters of other humans because we are biased by our own knowledge, experience, biases and tendency to be a harsh or lenient rater. Worse, this tendency is very resilient.
We believe we need to teach something that the other person doesn’t know, or “fill up the empty vessel with knowledge”. However, focusing people on their shortcomings doesn’t enable learning, it impairs it. Neuroscience has clearly demonstrated that pointing out negative qualities, which induces threat and negative emotions, impairs learning, creativity and agility. Connecting learning to strengths will induce positive emotions, which broaden one’s resources and ability to learn new information by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. This actually stimulates growth of new neurons, a sense of well-being, openness and better immune system functioning. And neurogenesis happens most naturally in areas of our strengths.
We believe there is one universal standard for excellent performance. This is false because excellent is idiosyncratic – it seems to be “inextricably and wonderfully intertwined with whoever demonstrates it”. Holding up a standardized model of excellence and focusing on developmental needs will only get you adequate performance, at best.
To give feedback that encourages excellence:
Look for positive outcomes. Point out in real time what someone did that was right. You are offering your insight on what your team member does well, so that she can recognize it, repeat it and refine it.
Share how it made you feel. While we are unreliable raters, we are excellent at knowing our own feelings and perceptions, which is our truth. Describe what you experienced the moment you noticed something excellent, using specific detail. Here you are not judging, rating and fixing, but reflecting back someone’s goodness to them. IF you are on the receiving end of some praise, help the giver get more specific. Ask, “Which part? What was it that worked so well?”
When something screws up and you have to remediate, you have to deal with it, but there is no learning or excellent performance. Therefore, your highest priority should be interrupting to point out what really works and is going well, in specifics and how you saw it.
When people ask for feedback, ask them what are three things that are working for them right now (in the present)? This primes the person with oxytocin, which induces positive emotions and creativity, and enables them to be open to new solutions. Next, ask how he solved a similar problem in the past. Finally, turn to the future and ask, “What do you already know you need to do?”
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